Irregular Verbiage

from the desk of Colin Nicholls

Page 60 of 61

Zarbo’s Delicatessen

24 Morrow St,
Newmarket,
Auckland,
New Zealand

These guys are a really, really good deli that does great lunches. They get included in my bagel list (rated 2nd) because they also have real bagels, which are pretty good. Extra bonus points earned because they actually stock anchovie paste, and real marzipan, and roasted garlic, and their deserts, and…

Grade: A-

Wofem’s Bagels

54 High Street,
Business District
Auckland, 
New Zealand

Until recently, Wofem’s were rated number 2 in the “genuine bagel” scale. However, recently Wofem’s were demoted to street cafe, second class, due to a certain incident a week or so ago. I won’t go into details here, except that they couldn’t get my order correct, then couldn’t find me (even though I was sitting in plain sight) and then they ate my bagel for lunch. When I finally reminded them that I hadn’t been served yet, they had another go, but still got the order wrong. I should have realized something was amiss when I walked in and found the familiar staff had been completely replaced by “bagel bimbos”.

Despite this, they still serve the best espresso out of all bagel cafes surveyed. Favorite Bagel: Sesame. Recommended with turkey, cranberry, and mustard. (If you can get them to make it without stuffing up.)

Grade: B+

14.June.2000 Update:
Ron Roman reports: “Wofem’s sold their shop at 54 High Street and opened another one at 50 High Street. Strangely, the 54 High Street shop still sell bagels, both NYBB and Wolfems!!!

Abe’s Real Bagels of Chicago

12-26 Swanson Street,
Business District,
Auckland,
New Zealand

These are the only people who I’ve seen selling _Parmesan_ Bagels. Weird! Abe’s Real Bagels win a third placement in the ultimate bagel quest (which is not a bad thing. Remember that I am only listing providers of what I consider are “genuine” bagels (as genuine as you can get in this part of the world). Their bagels are at the opposite end of the spectrum from Wofem’s. Light and airy. They offer Reuben bagels, which is good, but they don’t use saurkraut, which is not so good. Also, even though their bagels are steamed rather than boiled (and normally this is grounds for disqualification), they make up for it in other ways. Bonus points are earned for their really great orange cake, and very good espresso.

Grade: C+

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